The two voices in my head, arguing their heads off sound a bit like this.
Me : I'm feeling a bit depressed right now.
X : Well of course you are! Its exam week! You always become like this during exam week. Its allright. You have every right to be.
Y : Actually, you don't. There are standards to maintain, mate. And you need to make sure you maintain them.
X : Aww. C'mon man. He's having a bit of a rough patch now. Give the man a break.
Y : Rough patch or not, what needs to be done needs to be done. Priorities, my boy. Remember them.
X : What are these grades for anyway? They don't prove much now do they?
Y : Yes they do. My man here knows why he needs to work for them. He's known all his life. Its all he has done all his life. If he doesn't make it, the blame will fall squarely on him, and him alone. He can't deal with that.
X : Look here. If depression could be dealt with as easily as you think it can, then you're an idiot. The dude here is dealing with it as best he can. Its not like he's not studying at all.
Y : He isn't pushing hard enough! More needs to be done. He needs to suck it up and keep walking. He needs to move his sorry ass.
X : It happens every semester, and he's been fine all along.
Y : Well, in case you haven't noticed, this semester is a bit different.
X : He has everything under contol. No worries.
Y : Has he now? I don't think he does. I think he is compromising. He is aiming for less than he is capable of.
X : He isn't compromising. He is doing his best. You try walking in his shoes and then you'll know what its like.
Y : I am in his shoes. I'm in his head remember. I see what he sees. An all I see now is a slob who has an excuse to be lazy. And he's taking it.
X : Don't you dare say that. He's had this problem forever. None of this has anything to do with looking for an excuse of whatnot.
And the arguement continues.
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2 comments:
Amran : Couldn't stop myself from saying something (especially since its been the latest post for a while)- that the entire scenario is remarkably familiar to me.
Perhaps its the cynicism? So cynical to the point we don't even trust ourselves at times. Not even our own thoughts. Is it possible to be so jaded that we don't only doubt
others and the authenticity of their emotions- we begin to doubt our own? I dunno.
Inner Voice 1: Ha, would you get a load of this self-indulgence? Not only is it a ridiculously elitist notion, but also an unverifiable one. How could you ever truly know or understand how a person
thinks or feels? I can't believe you actually thought your comment was worth posting. Just wanted to sound smart and show off, eh? "Look at me, I'm introspective too!" Pathetic.
Inner Voice 2: And now here you are being all meta-self-deprecating like some kind of navel-gazing-emo-supposedly-deep-angst-tragic, which is really just thinly-veiled self-aggrandizement.
"Ooh, I'm critisizing my own thoughts, how self-aware I am." Shut up, you stupid bastard.
Inner Voice 3: Gah, the agony of multi-layered introspection...
Inner Voice 2: THINLY-VEILED SELF AGGRANDIZEMENT!
Inner Voice 1: He's right, you know... could've said something more constructive. You're just pointing out you introspect your introspection.
Self-aggrandizement indeed.
Amran : That's why I keep stuff to myself sometimes. Much easier if there was some sort of inner-voice vaccumm one attaches to the head to remove the noise, eh?
Can't even hear yourself think. Ahahaha.
P.S. : Wish I could've ruined your "0 Comments" run, instead of Alex, because, you know, just to spite you and to contradict your "no-one-reads-my-blog-boo-hoo" bit.
Ooohh.. Acid. I didn't know that all this self pity and ego stroking would get on your nerves, Amran. It almost sounds like you got some of your feelings hurt somewhere.
Or is it because you thought that since you could see through the THINLY-VEILED SELF AGGRANDIZEMENT and I thought I was fooling eveyone by calling it self-reflection, you needed to say something to set the record straight. Well, you did that. For me at least.
Can't say that that you are wrong. Most of it is quite accurate, come to think of it. I'm not going to break it down and do analysis on every bit of your comment.
If this was to serve as an insult, then I'm not too sure if it worked. But if it was supposed to be a wake up call, then its right on target.
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