Understanding...

If I had it my way, this post would be 'bitch, scream, kick, etc'. But I cannot have my way, so I'll take the next best thing.

For some reason, I find this almost unnatural need to want to understand certain things. In the past, when school was much easier, I always made sure I understood whatever it was that I was learning. In university, I cannot be bothered anymore, partly because there is no one to explain it to me, and I don't have to patience to research it on my own and partly because I have tried it before a few times with very discouraging results.

But there are things that can be explained. Things that I cannot understand but can be made to understand easily. But for some reason of another, the explanations are denied to me, either as an act of malice or of cowardice. Or it could be just plain old apathy, which to me is just as bad as malice, because the end result is pretty much the same.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned in thinking that in civilized society, we have a right to answers. Maybe the desire to leave no room for doubt is just too Utopian and cannot be achieved for the simple reason that some people either refuse to face the facts or can't be bothered to figure out what the facts are. Its quite amazing that it is these same people who say that communication is all important. Maybe to them communication with certain parties is important, but the rest of the people can grapple in the dark all they want. It doesn't matter to them.

I'd like to think of this refusal to clarify as some form of difference or opinion. Just like how different people have different ideas on when flirting starts becoming sexual misconduct, I wish that this can be one of the issues that we can all agree to disagree on. But the idea of not actually offering and seeking closure is just something that I find much too alien to accept.

I would write on, but I think I've written too much already. Too much for my own good anyway.