Harry Potter

I : Welcome to another edition of Smalltalk, the show that hits all the small issues and hits them hard. We are joined today by a very special guest from the wizarding world, Mr. Rofelius Udder. With him, we will hopefully explore some of the more shocking things that seemed to be overlooked by the Ministry of Magic during their war with the one that may not be named. We will also take a look at wizarding language, and try to get some insight into spell wording. Mr. Rofelius, welcome to the show.

R : Thank you.

I : Let us first look at the war with Vol-

R : Argh!

I : Sorry. I thought the taboo would have been lifted a year after his death. Very well then, lets just call him V shall we?

R : V is fine. Thank you.

I : Right then. The war with V. What was your role in the war?

R : I was an Auror. It was a terrible job at that time. So many of my colleagues died.

I : Yes, yes. I suspect the Aurors are like muggle policemen then. In charge of law enforcement and the like. You are accustomed to muggle life, are you not, Mr. Rofelius? You know what policemen are?

R : Yes. I lived a muggle life before Hogwarts, much like Harry Potter. Yes, Aurors are very much like policemen. Under the jurisdiction of the Ministry.

I : I see. And what of the army? Or do the Aurors double up as that too? Because thats the impression that I got. They seemed to be doing work that is normally the domain of the army.

R : I suppose they do in that sense.

I : And if there is international conflict? A war between countries. Do the Aurors then pick up their wands and do battle just like any regular army?

Pause.

R : I suppose. I never really thought about it to be honest. I don't really think that the wizarding world gets into international conflicts.

I : Frown. The wizarding tournament points otherwise actually. Wizards seem very comfortable resolving their conflicts in spectacular shows of destruction. But I don't think this is getting anywhere. Next question. How is the Ministry's relationship with the Americans?

R : The Americans?

I : Yes. The people who look remarkably like us, except they insist on being as different as possible. Live across the ocean on a big piece of land, eating hamburgers and getting too fat to walk.

R : Ah. Yes. Them. They are our friends of course. Just like in the muggle world.

I : Really? And it never occurred to the Ministry to ask for help from the Americans or your neighbouring French when you had the most dangerous terrorist in the history of magic running riot in Britain?

R : I am not at liberty to answer that question.

I : I didn't think so. I suppose only Minister Rowling will be able to answer that. I just find it intriguing that in a world that seems so connected by magic, all the countries seem content leaving Britain to collapse to its knees, knowing full well that V is bent on global domination. I would have thought it was in their self interests to see V beaten.

Silence.

I : I see. No matter. I just have one last matter. It concerns the language of magic. Do other cultures have their own magic words?

R : I should think so.

I : But pronunciation is an important aspect of the spell is it not? So translating the spell into say.... Chinese would have it lose its effect then?

R : Squint. I suppose.....

I : Then all magic must come from England, America or Australia then. Pretty much every spell seems to be rooted in the English language. Expellimarius, Stupefy, Confundo, Crucio. All seem to have English root words don't they?

R : I'm not a history scholar. I wouldn't know.

I : In that case, non-English speaking wizarding communities have my sympathies. Why they wouldn't just learn English and make their lives easier is beyond me. Anyway, thats all we have time for today. Thank you Rofelius for your time today, although I must say, you weren't very much help at all. I'll try to get a more informed person on the show the next time.

Till then, goodbye.