The male crisis.

I have spent the greater part of my 'stare into space' time wondering if the male crisis actually exists or not, and I always find something better to do soon after. The question simmers until I come across something that will remind me of this nagging concern. Every so often, a social commentary piece will appear before me and ask me to wonder again.

Men like damsels in distress. They like to have a clearly defined role and to stick to it. I suppose when they swoop in to rescue a poor helpless waif from a burnt lightbulb, they feel needed and are imbued with some sense of purpose. Which explains why many women respond accordingly. But then again, the wave of feminism seems to have changed some of that, and strong independent women have come along and lived quite happily. To that, some men have responded, changing some old ways to fit with the new woman. But only some.

The problem with this situation is that the two scenarios are complete opposites of one another. And I have witnessed some clashes between the two and it can get quite ugly. And it has made it just that much harder for people to hook up. I suppose with the dissolving of social class barriers to marriage in most places around the world, something else will have to take its place.

Remember that typical single, but approaching 40 woman griping about how all the good men are either gay or married? Well, thats because their selection pool is the minority. I suspect there are more women happy to embrace the new empowered female identity than there are men willing to put up with it. There is now an inherent imbalance between the two. And old fashioned, archaic men who insist on having a subservient woman are making up for the deficit in the number of women in their pool by buying their brides from overseas. How better to control something than to be able to say that you own it? (by the merit of you having bought it).

Those are the extremes. Then there are those that straddle the fences. Some that have decided that they want the best of both worlds. And they change their mind all they time. Finding a level of independence that you are comfortable with and sticking to it is a perfectly reasonable way of straddling the line. But flip flopping from one end of the scale to the other is going to get you nowhere. You cannot be helpless and dependent one minute, and dominant and in total control the next. Thats like having a mild case of multiple personalities.

I touched something similar in my feminist's worst nightmare post. You simply cannot call yourself a feminist if you enjoy subjecting yourself to sexist ideas.

Admittedly, most people never actually 'think so much' about something as petty as this. But I think the problem is real. Realizing who you are, what you stand for, and what you want in life is more important than people are willing to admit.