What happens in my head.

Well, I'm not exactly going to talk about everything that goes on in my head. No. That would be much too disturbing.

You know there are certain thoughts in your head that are just taboo. You know, stuff that is in your brain, but your consciousness will never acknowledge exists. Its a condition that I frequently call self delusion. I'm guilty of that to some extent, but thankfully not to the point where people around me get worried enough to want to forcibly snap me out of it.

Well, my brain has a very weird way of shutting out all these unpleasant thoughts. I think I'll call it the ninja reflex.

Everytime I come across something I don't want to think about anymore, I think of violent sword fights.

I know. Its ridiculous, and I have no explanation for it. When I drift off and suddenly arrive at the memory of some embarrassing moment that I have had in my life, my brain takes over and shows me scenes of sword fights. Its quite an international affair, really, so the ninja reflex might not be that appropriate a name. The blades come from all kinds of popular culture that we see. Japanese, old english, high fantasy. They are all there. No curved Arabian blades so far though.

I'm not sure what this means. I'm not even sure I care what it all means. It probably explains why my metaphorical fiction stories are so graphic and violent. Those stories normally provoke memory of unpleasant emotion and fear.

So yeah. I'm a sadistic little arse-head. So there.