Hats off to this guy. I think.

This was forwarded to my inbox recently. Its a pretty old story, but its still freaking hilarious. And since I haven't updated in like forever, I decided that someone else's thoughts are better than no thoughts at all. I don't condone such behaviour though. =P

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. And Mrs. Fennell retired, Mrs. Fennell insisted her Husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fennell was like most men--he found shopping Boring
and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fennell was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Fennell received the following letter from her
local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fennell,

Over the past six months, Tom has been causing quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of
you from the store. Our complaints against him are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2 July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,

Walmart

Stupid laws.

Hilarious stuff. Talk about being outdated or sometimes, just plain daft.

The UK's top 10 most ridiculous British laws were listed as:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down (7%)

3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)

4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned (5%)

5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter (4%)

6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4%)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)

8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour (3%)

10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)

Other bizarre foreign laws voted by those polled included:

In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%)

In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)

A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)

In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)

It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama (6%)

In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)

Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%)

In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits (5%)

In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)

Scott Adams, I worship thee.

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/suing-god.html

One of the funniest posts ever! Almost fell off my chair.